Dreams and Disappointments…

Tonight I did something that is common for me…spent almost 3 hours in Barnes & Noble, sitting on the window ledge reading the latest edition of my favorite magazines.  I have always loved magazines, which now makes sense since I am part of the amazing team at Scene Magazine-Louisiana’s Premier Entertainment Magazine…(check out pic of launch 🙂   It is strange, but I love going to Barnes & Noble on Saturday night.  I will never forget my experience once in NYC in the Barnes & Noble in Union Square when I was frustrated about being alone on Valentine’s Day in a thriving city with hundreds of available guys…there I was…right in front of the film magazine section, by myself when three guys walked up and introduced them self to me…who knew!  I later read in one of the popular New York mags that apparently that Barnes & Noble was the place to meet people.  Nothing happened from my encounters, but I love telling the story of Valentine’s Day in Union Square.  Tonight’s bookstore experience was just the opposite…I was in my own world.  I was not in the mood to chat much, and had a lot on my heart…hence tonight’s post.  I miss writing, and tonight triggered something.  I have been dealing with a lot of heart issues lately, including disappointments.  I am not sure what the answer is to what’s going on in my world, but it doesn’t really matter.  I must re-group and move forward and let God move.  I realized over the last few days how strong the human heart is, that is if it’s placed in the hands of a loving heavenly father.  TRUST…trusting God is another thing that I thought I mastered.  No matter how many disappointments or failures, I have found that life MOVES ON and so must you.  I thought I trusted God 100% but now…I have a much deeper understanding.   Despite personal frustrations, I have seen my career take a new shift and some dreams I didn’t even realize have started to take flight…DREAMS…they keep you moving!  I guess you could say that I have had some of those “dig down deep” moments when you realize who and what you are made of, and it’s in times like that when you can easily lose focus on the good things in your life if you are not careful.  Why is it that one tough moment in life can cause you to lost hope or give up?  I know that my footsteps are ordered by the Lord, and that he will be “the strength of my heart and my portion forever” but tonight I was NOT feeling it.  It’s in those moments when FAITH triumphs FEELING and DREAMS over shadow DISAPPOINTMENTS…if you choose to do so.  I don’t always choose correctly I must say, but tonight I was able to distract my heart and mind from the frustration and move on.  Who knows what tomorrow holds, but through prayer and a steadfast heart…The DREAM remains…


My parents looking good on the red carpet at our magazine's launch party in New Orleans


4 thoughts on “Dreams and Disappointments…

  1. Im very sorry for that mean comment under my short form last name Bellis, Im glad you removed it. I had a bad day and I decided to take out my frustrations using the internet on you. Please accept this apology. You are a beautiful women, both inside and out. You have an amazing ability to follow your dreams, something that I is lacking with many in today’s society. Moving forward is the best thing you can do at this point in your life, focus on the present since that is key to changing your future. I hope you find your way in life, Im sure you will find love some day, you look beautiful, your caring, nice, outgoing and your a good person. I really feel bad typing this, may seem like im “sucking up” to you but Im not, I meant all of what I said. That day I made that horrible comment on your blog, A friend of mine stopped talking to me and revealed his hate for me on the phone (He has problems of his own don’t want to get into and he sometimes percieves things wrong), I was frustrated, angry and felt empty and I used my anger on you as an outlet for it.

    Anyway I hope you read all this, hope I didn’t type ot much, lol and I hope you accept my apology.

    Godbless you.

  2. Until recently I made contact with that friend again and their is peace between us so everything is okay. I hope you start updating your blog once a month, you missed 4 months 😦 .

    Keep on doing what your doing, your an extraordinary women. Hope to see more blogs entries up soon 🙂

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